


Privacy

by yikesola



Series: giving the people what they want [37]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25739068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Dan feels like he’s going to explode with his secret. Or that he’s gonna pass out from holding it in. It’s not like he’s not used to having secrets, that’s kinda been his entire life since the hell of secondary school began. But he isn’t used to keeping one from Phil.A fic about surprises and indulgence.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: giving the people what they want [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1343839
Comments: 28
Kudos: 122





	Privacy

**Author's Note:**

> y'all can blame [keelin](http://ahappydnp.tumblr.com) for this 😭

Dan and his mum are the only ones over by the bar at high noon. Adrian’s in the pool and his dad is off somewhere. Maybe back in the hotel room. Maybe somewhere else. There are only two days left of their holiday, and Karen’s second mimosa says she’s trying to make the most of it. She looks good, happy. Dan’s glad she can still look happy like this even if it doesn’t happen so often. The sun has been good to her, and not having to worry about work. And the fact that his dad doesn’t take the _family_ part of _family holiday_ so strictly that she never gets a break. 

She’s laughing readily enough at Dan, who is trying to butter her up and get her in a good mood, and he thinks it might be working. So he decides to take the risk he’s been building up to. 

“Hey mum,” he says, “you know that fit I threw before we left because I’d be off work so long?” 

Karen nods. Dan wasn’t about to tell his parents he was upset because the holiday in India meant so much time away from Phil. No way in hell. But a lack of spending money is something he could pretend to be upset over. “Sure do, thought you’d be a sulky puss the whole trip.” 

Dan bristles, but only theatrically. “Well, haven’t I done well then? D’you think you could spot me, and I’ll get you back once I actually go to work?” 

His mum takes another sip. She’s thinking about it. Dan likes that better than an outright no. “How much?”

“£200,” Dan says as nonchalantly as he can. His voice still cracks a little. 

“Fuck off,” she laughs. 

“Mum, please,” Dan whines. 

“What the hell do you need that kind of spending money for, Daniel?” she laughs again.

Dan sets his margarita on the bar. The margarita _she_ paid for, he’s well aware. “I want to get some travel in now I’m done with the law firm work experience,” he shrugs. “Some YouTube collabs and things.” 

She stares. She knows he makes YouTube videos and she knows that YouTube is a website and… she doesn’t know much else. 

“Train tickets are expensive,” Dan pouts. 

“Tell me about it,” she laughs. “Especially when I’m paying for them.” 

“I’ll get you back.” He will. As soon as he isn’t skint anymore. 

She waits another moment before taking a sip of her drink. Dan suddenly thinks he fucked up and there’s no way she’ll lend him the money. That it was stupid to even ask. It’s not like his parents are flush with cash anyways and it’s not like they have the sort of relationship where he can ask for things like this. He hasn’t even given her a real answer of what he’s going to do with it, after all. She’d be well within her rights to tell him to fuck off again. 

“Fine,” his mum smiles and shakes her head like she’s also surprised she said yes. She digs in her bag and pulls out her chequebook. She writes him a cheque for £250 because she’s funny like that, and draws a lopsided little heart in the memo line. “But you’re getting me back.” 

Dan thinks if he were different and if she were different, that he might lean forward and kiss her on the cheek for that. Instead, he just takes the cheque before she can change her mind and grins his thanks.

*

Phil thinks that even if having Dan so far away is torture, it’s a little worthwhile because he’s so fucking tan from all the sun he’s getting in India. The grainy Skype screen is something they’re both all too familiar with, but Dan’s smile is a little wider today than it has been for a while, and Phil likes the look of that. 

Maybe it’s because they won’t be so far apart for much longer. Maybe it’s just because so much Vitamin D can make the brain a little loopy. 

A big bug flies in front of Dan’s face because he’s been out on the balcony of their hotel room talking to Phil the last few hours, and Phil can see that he wants to scream very badly but amazingly enough just looks panicked and waves his arms around until the danger has passed. 

Phil doesn’t have to be so quiet. He does have to be _a little_ quiet to avoid waking his parents, but he is able to laugh at Dan’s flailing. 

“No sympathy,” Dan pouts. “You could care a little that my life is in peril, you know.” 

“From a mosquito?” Phil laughs. 

“Name a deadlier bug, c’mon. It’s like you _want_ me to get malaria.” 

“What I _want_ ,” Phil sits up, “is for you to get your ass back here, Howell.” 

Dan moves to give himself a silent cheeky spank. “Can the rest of me come too?” 

“Please!” Phil feels like he’s going crazy, with how much he misses Dan. He doesn’t think it should really be possible. 

“Three more days,” Dan smiles. 

“Three more days,” Phil repeats. Not that he’s been counting them down or anything. 

“I watched your video like ten times today,” Dan says. He goes soft when he says it, soft and wanting eyes that Phil knows are only for him. He also knows that Dan doesn’t mean he watched the _Worst Birthday EVER!!_ video that Phil had posted to his main channel the other day. He knows Dan means the private video he’d made as the only Valentine’s gift he could manage considering the geographical circumstances.

“Yeah?” 

Dan nods. “Maybe like twelve times, actually.” There’s something bashful about his tone, his crooked smile. The palms of Phil’s hands physically ache because he cannot reach forward and pull Dan close. 

*

At half past one the next afternoon, Dan nips away to the hotel lobby so he can make a long-distance call. The internet and trying to book online as he would obviously prefer to do had been giving him too much trouble. At least when he Skypes Phil in the middle of the night, no one else is trying to get connected, and he isn’t too likely to drop. But after giving it four good tries, he decides to just try his luck with the phone. 

“Hilton Manchester, this is Lara speaking,” the woman on the other end of the world answers. She sounds even more northern than Phil, but has the distinct customer service cadence Dan knows all too well. 

“Hi, I was looking to book a room, one night for the 20th,” he says. 

“One moment, please.” Dan hears the clacking of long nails on a keyboard in the background. “Alright, I’ve got a couple of options. A double bed, or a king suite.” 

Dan knows what budget he’s working with. “Double bed, please.” 

“Great. Non-smoking?” 

“Yeah, and er, if possible can it be a high floor?” 

Some more clacking. “Sure, I can get you on the 14th.” 

Dan thinks there’s probably much higher rooms, but he doesn’t want to press the issue. “Thanks,” he says. “Can I ask for another favour? Do you do any like… I dunno rose petal or champagne sort of thing? I’m trying to do a belated Valentine’s Day.”

“Ah, you’re in the doghouse, are you?” the woman laughs. “No problem.”

*

This isn’t the first time Phil has paced up and down Manchester Piccadilly waiting for a train to get in. He’s decidedly less nervous this time around, but no less full of anticipation. It’s just been too fucking long.

He’s fiddling with his fringe, trying to make it look like the hot kind of birds nest and not the feral kind. He’s trying to subtly check for sweat stains by feel in his plaid shirt because he’s too warm in his coat but it’s too cold to take it off. He’s checking his breath like he didn’t just pop a mint a moment ago.

He’s nervous like Dan doesn’t know exactly who he’s coming to see. 

The temptation to neurotically check his phone again is strong. He almost gives up before he sees the big mechanical movement of a train approaching the only platform he gives a fuck about. 

Phil wonders if he’ll be able to resist hugging Dan. They haven’t done that, lately, in public like this. Sure, they gave a shaky half-armed something the first afternoon they met, but there’s some level of forgiveness in it being the first time. They weren’t even really together then. It was _acceptable_. 

But now, near the real warmth of Dan’s skin for the first time in just shy of a month? He can’t wait until they’re back in Rawtenstall for that, it’d be criminal. 

He sees the familiar smile standing high above everyone else moving out of the train. He sees the moment of recognition, when the smile widens. 

Not only does he hug Dan, but Dan’s arms around his waist grip him so tightly he can feel his feet leave the ground for a moment. He’d laugh if he had any air left. 

Dan smells of plane and train and long ago soaked-in suncream. He smells of warm and familiarity and everything Phil’s been missing. 

*

Dan feels like he’s going to explode with his secret. Or that he’s gonna pass out from holding it in. It’s not like he’s not used to having secrets, that’s kinda been his entire life since the hell of secondary school began. But he isn’t used to keeping one from Phil. Not since they’ve let the whole _I’m in love with you_ secret spill between them. 

Still, Phil doesn’t seem to suspect anything when Dan recommends they hit the Skybar before getting on a bus to the valley. He just smiles fondly like he too can’t resist thinking of the first time they went there. 

It’s as swank as Dan remembers. Maybe he should’ve changed out of the rumpled clothes he’s been wearing for about thirty hours now. But he stops worrying about it as Phil keeps giving him an up and down while they wait for their drinks. He isn’t subtle. Dan doesn’t actually think he means to be. 

“You like what you see, Lester,” Dan teases. 

Phil wads up a cocktail napkin and throws it at him. “Just doing the mental math for how soon I can get you alone,” he says. 

Dan decides to tease him a little further. “Won’t really be alone though,” he says, bringing a hand up to his neck to fiddle with the collar of his shirt. “Not like in December, or that first weekend. Got your parents to worry about.” 

“Alone enough,” Phil tells him. “I’m behaving because we’re literally in public, but a month is a long time and you’ve got some new tan lines.” 

Dan almost tells him then. Instead, he excuses himself for the bathroom and prays Phil doesn’t see him heading to the lift. Once he’s in the lobby he makes quick work of checking in, ordering flowers and booze and cakes. 

*

When Dan is gone for a few minutes longer than the average toilet trip, Phil wonders if he’s being an idiot and that was actually some kind of proposition that he missed the cue for. 

Before he can properly sweat about it, Dan’s back and grinning like he’s up to something. Phil is really into that grin, but mostly he’s thinking about how Dan probably wants a shower and to put on fresh clothes and how badly Phil wants to kiss him like he’s been aching to do for weeks, and so as nice as this visit to the Skybar has been he’s just very eager to catch the next bus home. 

And he thinks that’s what Dan’s grin means too, until Dan nudges Phil’s knee and says, “Let’s not go back to yours.” 

“No?” Phil says. “Wanna run away somewhere?” Sometimes they joke about that. Running away as far as their meagre savings will take them just for the sake of it. He thinks Dan’s indulging in some of that dreaming right now. 

“Nah, I think we should just stay here,” he says. 

“Here,” Phil nods, looking out the giant window beside them. “Not bad. I could stay here.” He really could. If Dan isn’t desperate for that shower and a real bed, he can put aside his own cravings for a lovely view like this. 

“Or maybe like twenty floors down,” Dan grins, pulling out a cardkey from his pocket. 

It takes a minute for Phil’s brain to catch up with what he’s said. “What?” he laughs. 

“Text your mum, tell her not to expect us til tomorrow.” 

*

The room is nice, even if Dan had to be selective with his borrowed money. The window is wide and the bed bigger than what either he or Phil have waiting for them back in their childhood homes. The bathtub is huge and the Valentine’s frills every bit as cheesy as Dan had been hoping. Except without actual cheese. He knows Phil well enough for that. 

The door is hardly shut behind him when Phil gets a hand on either side of his face. “I missed you so fucking much,” he says between kisses. Dan grabs at Phil’s shirt and pulls him closer. 

He’s grubby and exhausted and he doesn’t really give a shit because Phil is kissing the breath out of him. He’s kissing him hungrily, as they’ve both been starving for this. He’s biting at Dan’s lips, his neck, at his collarbones when he pulls Dan’s tshirt out of the way. 

Dan kicks off his shoes and wonders if he should break this up for the sake of getting in that giant bathtub or sipping some of that champagne, but frankly he figures there’ll be time for that later. He and Phil have all night. 

*

Dan’s moans are literal music. Phil’s buzzing from the echo of them in his ears as he tugs different articles of clothing away from that soft skin he needs to see. 

He can’t get enough. He wants to taste and touch Dan everywhere. 

He wants to get him off quick to satisfy the ache they’ve had for ages but he also wants to draw it out and make it as good as he can. He wants to push him against the closed hotel door. He wants to use every wavering bit of strength he has to pick Dan up and throw him on the bed. He wants to fuck Dan, he wants Dan to fuck him, he wants to suck and lick and _have_ and after twenty-six days without he’s feeling almost overwhelmed by the many choices in front of him. 

He needs to remind himself this isn’t one and done. They have all the privacy they could ask for tonight, and they’ll still have more days coming even if they’ll have to be a little more discreet around his parents. 

There’s no need to rush, aside from his own lack of impulse control of course. 

*

Round one is quick, like Dan figured it would be. He comes almost as soon as Phil gets a hand on him. But it’s so fucking good he doesn’t really mind. Plus it means they move into the shower and he washes the last dregs of travel off of himself at last. 

Round two is filled with cheap champagne which tastes fancy by glass three and slower, more specific kisses. It’s filled with Phil tracing Dan’s tan lines like he knew he would. It’s filled with a surprising little cry afterwards which neither of them were really expecting. 

“I’m never spending a month away from you again,” Dan laughs to brush off his tears. “You’re stuck with me. No getting round it.” 

Dan almost cries again when Phil says, “Fine by me,” and kisses him. 

Round three is in the middle of the night, after what could only generously be called a nap, when Dan wakes up in Phil’s arms and unfamiliar sheets and so hard that it isn’t exactly a difficult decision to wake Phil up as well. 

Round four is right before checkout, because they figure they really ought to make the most of the room after all. Phil sits up in the bed and looks over the view of his favourite city while Dan sucks him off and fuck if Dan doesn’t wish he could spoil him like this every day. 

*

The familiar bus ride is nicer than it would've been yesterday, Phil thinks. He isn’t so frantic to have it over with, he’s just enjoying Dan sitting beside him as the scenery outside changes from city to suburbs. They hold hands out of view because the bus is mostly empty. 

He’s so happy to have Dan back home. Almost home. With a quick little stop on the way that was unusual and spontaneous and indulgent just barely behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/625658601706487808/privacy) !


End file.
